The Nightmare of Draco
by ilovedamncookies
Summary: Making a chocolate raid in the Slytherin Common Room is the worst idea ever. And it's not Draco who says otherwise. He was told, however, that the abuse of chocolate was dangerous for his mental health!


Once upon a time, in a room in the colors of Slytherin, Draco Malfoy who was dying on his bed, curled up, hands on belly. The ground lay the bodies of chocolate boxes, as well as packaging.

The young man with blond hair of a lunar wondered what had possessed him to raid all these chocolates. Yet he knew what would happen to eat in even a single: each time, he was seized with a frenzy and could not stop. It had not failed. All Green and Silver students had been extorted, robbed of their precious cocoa candies.

What would his father, the great Lucius Malfoy, in seeing him? What a comedown. But Draco could not help himself. Chocolate was his drug.

Now he bitterly regretted his actions and tomorrow would be even worse, especially when he should go to the toilet to evacuate all he had swallowed.

Just this idea made him more ill than he was already.

He tried to return to his bed to find a comfortable position to sleep properly that night.

\- So Drakichoucrounou love, we ate too much chocolate?

\- Fuck, Zabini!

Blaise Zabini, the sorcerer ebony skin laughed.

\- That's you tomorrow. And you will be very difficult.

This bad guy clearly did not care about him. Draco turned his head to avoid having to watch his neighbor barracks.

\- But fuck you!

\- What language my dear, I remain speechless. But hey, if you insist so much. At least I'll be able to do ...

Malfoy grunted an unintelligible reply and closed his eyes, trying to fall asleep. It is then that chooses to put his belly growling. He had a passion to degas. Only a Malfoy did not do these things in public, let it be said!

\- Damn Merlin, he squeaked. I have a bad flop.

\- Right to guzzle, dear friend.

\- Shut up ! I'm not talking to you ! Let me die.

\- I'm leaving you in your shit, honey.

\- Too kind.

He wanted to die. Really. Because he had to remember to fart with Blaise next, barely a few meters from him. He could have asked her out, only, it would look very suspicious, is not it? Certainly.

Draco sighed, lying on his stomach.

Minutes passed. Zabini had locked himself in his bed, curtains drawn. It was to be revising its course for the next day. While the silence was in order in the dormitory, Draco gritted his teeth when he realized he had stomach ache too. Without it nothing can be done, he heard a sound out of it, absolutely disgusting noise.

\- PRROOUUTTFF!

For a moment, the silence of death seemed to be floating in the dormitory. Draco prayed with all his strength so that no one heard what had happened, but his hopes fled away when he heard the sound of a curtain being pulled.

\- Malfoy? Blaise wondered leaving the head of his canopy. Reassures me that flatulence is not from you?

Draco gulped. Blaise had therefore heard. It was the end of the world.

\- No, this is a view of the mind, he retorted, his teeth clenched.

\- Well congratulations, it's nice to aristocrotte.

\- Kiss my ass.

\- With pleasure, dear, but your butt does not seem so welcoming it, right now. I did not feel like that you fart on me at the right time.

\- Motherfucker Species, yelled Draco simply refused the idea.

After all, he was a Malfoy and Malfoy were not attracted to their own sex. This image was simply unthinkable and disgusting.

\- Oh no honey, if it is I who take you, it will be you the motherfucker. But your pretty mouth should not utter such horrors. I preferred the "Oh yes, Blaise, stronger. Merlin, you're so great. Take me deeper. "

Draco, the open mouth and cheeks red with shame, reached out and pulled the curtains of his bed He was short of breath, but could not say whether this was due to disgust or something else.

\- Good night, choucrounou! Zabini yelled.

The young Malfoy was outraged, humiliated, sick as a Dementor. Worst of all, he could not get up to go to the toilet at risk of encountering Blaise would make him advances.

Despite all the more disturbing thoughts each other, he fell asleep.

 **0o0**

As he descended into the land of dreams, pale pink cloud exploded in a majestic fart, letting a unicorn a beautiful pink, purple long curly mane floating around his neck. His horn lavender spangled forward, she seemed load something made quantum leaps.

Once all four hooves on the greasy grass, Draco saw her snorting slowly, like a scene in slow motion, then stand on his hind legs and fall gracefully.

His purple tail, decorated with a huge knot in bright white curling ribbon, whipped up the nonexistent wind and vanishes away a sneer.

\- Écladouceur because I'm worth it, she said in a soft voice while projecting the silky cheek to the side.

She turned slightly, revealing three purple stars of different sizes on its rump.

But what surprised the sorcerer was not talking about the animal. It was that he carries on his back a silver-haired man, so much so that they appeared white. He was dressed in all and for all that a toga of a transparently hardly pristine white that left see her firm and muscular thighs.

\- Dad ? Draco was surprised by seeing his father as well.

Lucius Malfoy, because it was good to him, put his wick in the wind and said:

\- Écladouceur because I am worth as well, simpered there before trailing his unicorn left in a sequined fart in the direction of a distant castle.

Completely overwhelmed by the situation, Draco still into his head to follow, but the magical creature was pushed by the glitter she projected into the air, leaving behind a pleasant scent of jasmine, lilac and spring dew was reminiscent of her fate deodorant Malfoy manor toilet.

Only he had hardly had time to take three steps that the unicorn had already vanished over the horizon. The young man did not admit defeat, however, and decided to go to the castle that still stood in the distance. The more advanced, the more he felt the walls and towers were made of chocolate.

As he walked, the ground slipped away under his feet. He shouted in surprise as he fell. However, during his fall, he had the sensation of sliding on a slide instead of falling sharply.

After its descent over, he stood up without too much damage and realized he was in a dimly lit cave in which he heard a ferocious beast growl.

By the time his eyes adjust to the darkness, he could make out a black and white imposing mass, scary, curled up in a corner. He realized, to his relief, that the creature was asleep. He walked cautiously toward what appeared to be the output. Nevertheless, he had the misfortune of not seeing where he set foot.

\- CRACK!

The stomach knotted with apprehension, he froze, then glanced toward the beast.

This, in a leap as the clown out of the box, found himself standing, blocking any escape.

Prior to scream in terror, Draco heard a voice froze on:

\- A soup with tofu?

Taken aback, the blond did not know what to answer. But where is he landed?

\- Unless you'd rather face the five cyclones, then squeaked the big fat panda who threw his lightning with his green eyes glittered.

The young Malfoy retailed and noticed the pretty paper in bright green curling ribbon bowtie he had around his neck. It was then he realized he still had not given his answer.

\- I ... I ... I'll take the soup with tofu, Draco stammered.

\- Wait, I come back, I'll get the tea.

And the panda disappeared one second to return with two steaming cups yellow and blue and two bowls floating behind him. The Malfoy heir collected a containers and tasted of the tip of the tongue soup. His stomach révulsa. It was not good at all, but he forced himself to drink at least a sip.

\- Mmhh, it's delicious, he said with a grin.

He just wanted to vomit.

The big beast roared that made the hair stand on the head of the unfortunate poor. The latter found himself, without knowing how, caught in an embrace worthy of a plantigrade.

\- Ohh, thank you! It's too nice!

Draco choked while the beast clutched against her, sobbing miserably thanks.

\- Excuse me, murmured the young wizard breathless trying to take a breath despite the large paws that were crushing his bones. You crush me.

\- Oh yes, sorry.

And he released him to return to his corner.

\- The output is at the end of the tunnel, taught him the panda, closing his eyes, designating a point of light in the distance ...

Draco muttered a thank you and followed the path that had been drawn down. Golden arrows were traced in the dust, illuminating the cave.

At a turning point, he came face to face with Goyle disguised as holding stewardess which designated silkily, different issues.

\- Emergency exits are at the front, middle and back of the unit. You can follow the light indicators on the ground to guide you. I hope you have a pleasant trip on the company Sequins Airlines.

Out of spite, but mainly because he wanted to meet as far as possible the vision for the less traumatic, Draco followed the indicated direction and found herself in a clearing surrounded by majestic trees. The sky seemed to catch fire under the sunset. Night was falling without getting too bad.

In a rustle of wings, a tiny owl just hair, not feathers, with big golden eyes filled with glitter, and a bowtie curling ribbon color of her eyes around the neck loomed before him.

\- Papuche? ulula the volatile.

\- Huh? wondered the young Malfoy.

\- Papuche?

\- What?

It was crazy, right? An owl, he knew, it was not "papuche" but "houhou".

\- Paaapuche repeated the adorable creature.

\- Ah, papuche, Draco said without thinking.

\- Pfff, the creature chirped before pouncing on his shoulder and begin to purr in his ear.

He rubbed gently his cheek against hers while nuzzling his nose into her neck.

\- Rhhou papuche, he cooed.

\- Yes, but of course, Draco sighed.

It was official, it was good for St. Mungo. With any luck, it would be next to Gilderoy Lockhart.

\- Ouch, suddenly exclaimed Draco, feeling a beak nipping his ear with violence.

He saw the owl flying and hovering a few centimeters from him, blowing his hair squealing and anger.

\- PAPUCHE! growled the animal fluttering.

He started a sort of dance which seemed like a declaration of war.

\- Papuche! Papuche! Papuche! he chanted.

\- Yes, papuche grumbled Draco was getting gently flush the cauldron of papuches.

He did not even know what it was that papuche!

To his surprise, the owl returned snuggle on his shoulder to purr before disappearing in an explosion of gold flakes while a voice echoed in his ear:

\- I'm off to the shower. I come again.

When Draco could see properly again, the last flakes fainting, he found he was not at all in the clearing but on the deck of a ship three masts. He breathed the fresh air of the ocean and began to sing without even he could stop himself, with the pirates who danced a jig on the freshly washed deck while bellowing:

"We hear the cuckoo,

From its great oak,

It responds to the owl,

Cuckoo Owl

Cuckoo Owl

Cuckoo cuckoo cuckoo. "

Realizing what he was doing, Draco shook and slipped to an opening which was located behind his back. He plunged into the bowels of the ship and found himself face to face with a huge cauldron in which bubbled cheerfully squid in a greenish water. Without understanding, and with some practice, it blasted the wooden spoon that sat on the table and proceeded to toss the potion bubbling nicely.

\- Oh dwarf! Severus Snape growled, startling Draco looked everywhere where his teacher was.

\- Sir? Where are you ?

\- In your opinion, Mr. Malfoy!

The voice seemed to come from the cauldron.

\- She is good ? he asked politely squid who frolicked.

\- So do two turns in the direction of clockwise, turn on yourself bell thrice feet and sing the anthem of Hogwarts, said the mollusc. Then you can go out. Come back in an hour.

Meekly obedient, Draco did as his teacher in the body of the squid had demanded then went out on the jetty just in time to hear a pirate scream. He did not understand what was said, but seeing all the men lie down, he imitated. A second later, the building was propelled forward in a sound fart and split the waves at full speed. The blond could only look up to see what made them move so quickly. A jet sequins allowed the ship to run at full speed towards the coast that were emerging on the horizon.

\- Hurricane, bellowed one of the crew members. Hurricane!

Hurricane? Draco was surprised. But there was no hurricane. The sky was blue. It was turning his head to starboard he saw the pink unicorn and rider. The animal galloped over the ocean and a song was heard screaming while hackers had to go faster, because the storm was upon them.

"Did you see, did you see,

The unicorn Little Miss, Little Miss unicorn,

Did you seen, have you seen,

The little unicorn to the sharp horn? "

Lucius gave a nod to his son and shook his mane a moment before gathering her hair into a braid. In the end, noting that he had not elastic, he undid everything and again two or three times by changing each time out.

\- Écladouceur because I'm worth it, said he again running a hand through her hair while arching back.

The unicorn let out a fart sound, releasing a pink glittery cloud and disappeared under the screams of men chanting "the throttle" to try - in vain - to catch the creature.

The building suddenly reared up under the force of acceleration and Draco was thrown from the bridge and falling into the water. He did not have time to swim his body felt be attracted to the bottom. Instead of choking and gasping for air, he breathed a big gulp of oxygen and let himself sink to the bottom of the ocean.

Moments later, her bare feet caressed the green grass and greasy. Exhausted, he lay. At that time, the music rose and "youhou Drago" made the leap. He sat up to see Harry Potter hurtling down a hill, arms in the air, looking as silly as usual, glasses on his nose. He wore a white robe who beat her thighs.

Suddenly, as he ran, hopping in the slope of the meadow, hair and robes in the wind, the bespectacled stumbled heavily and without any class in the grass. He made several rolled-balls to finish the race in a huge dung that some stars are escaped.

Potter stood up and immediately began to whine seeing the extent of the damage. His dress was stained.

\- Luluuuu, my dress is all tachéééeeee! he whined, glasses askew and more disheveled than ever.

\- Fear not, my sweet, I hurries, said the voice of Lucius from nowhere.

The unicorn appeared instantly in the air and let out a loud burp that turned into a rainbow sky. From there, dozens of small chubby bear gaudy slipped from the clouds to the rainbow sky while their posterior swaying and shouting "toupoutou, toupoutou". Once ashore, they rushed over to Harry undress him before running off with the toga, with the intention of washing in the river, next to the castle washerwomen, leaving Potter also dressed as the day of its birth. The greatest despair Draco certainly not asking to know as many details about the anatomy of Survivor.

Lucius, these between-made, down from the unicorn and approached the enemy of his son in a feline.

\- Lulu, I want a magical kiss, I made me sore, Harry whined, his face turned towards the man, snot-nose and watery eyes.

Draco was expecting to see his father repel the ignoble thing down. So when he saw that Lucius pressed against him groaning as he felt like vomiting.

\- Father! he growled, outraged.

The blond Lord does not seem to hear as he pulled her Potter and placed his lips on hers to kiss greedily. Draco could see the disgust languages intermingle.

\- Father? he said, on the verge of nausea.

Again, Lucius said nothing. Had he just seen? The aristocrat again bestrode his horse and hauled Potter before him sidesaddle, firmly pressed against his chest. Just before the unicorn disappeared into a setting sun to the Malfoy Manor, visible in the distance, Draco could note that his enemy was pulling his tongue.

Furred owl, out of nowhere, then whirled before him while hooting:

\- They lived happily and had many children. They lived happily and had many children before disappearing in turn in a shower of golden glitter.

Annoyed, Draco turned around to come face to face with Blaise naked, her body makes more black dark chocolates.

\- Come taste my chocolate, I'm big and strong, taste me deeply, whispered the mixed Slytherin.

Draco was speechless at first, totally stunned by what he saw. Zabini then suddenly pinned him against it. The blond could feel the deep smell of chocolate that made him salivate.

\- Chocolate, chocolate, he demanded drawled.

\- Go ahead, lick me, encouraged Blaise. Lick me! ... But let me mess!

Malfoy suddenly awoke, shaken in every direction by Blaise abnormally dark cheeks intimated him the order to stop licking her neck.

\- Not that it is unpleasant, but I prefer when you're awake, fully consenting, not missing and not in the state in which you are now.

Draco sat up, startled before awareness of what Zabini said and their more equivocal position. Him lying on the large black, being dutifully lick her neck. It was at this time that he noticed that his tongue hung yet.

\- Merlin, thank you, you're awake. Because not only you chouines sleeping, but in addition, you asphyxia us with your good smelling farts.

\- It is sure that when you fart, you fart not glitter, saw Theodore Nott lying on his bed, a book in her lap.

\- Huh? Drago was indignant. Why glitter?

\- You talk in your sleep, Blaise whispered close to his ear. And you say interesting things. So like that, you want to taste my candy bar? Deeply?

\- Maisnonmaispasdutout, hastened to meet the blond before returning quickly in bed he had to leave in his sleep.

His mind, now alert, noted strange things: Nott, hair still wet from a shower very recent, was reading a book on Muggle inventions, including aircraft. Goyle was sleeping blissfully, a unicorn's arms. A small pink teddy with a purple mane and a white bow around the neck. Tea cups enthroned abandoned on the bedside tables of boys. The squid was swimming near windows and seemed to cuckoo with its tentacles. A potions book lying at the foot of the bed Malfoy.

The dormitory door opened suddenly on Pansy Parkinson who wrinkled his nose at the stench of rotten eggs and fermented cabbage that reigned in the room.

\- Merlin, there's a dead rat in your house? if she exclaimed. It is an infection here.

\- No, just Draco, Blaise told him.

\- Oh, said the young woman, holding an owl to Malfoy. You should refer to these foul smells, I do not think this is normal. Here, I think it's an owl your father.

Indeed, he recognized the ugly little creature that Lucius Malfoy was using to send his couriers.

This handed the tab to be relieved of his letter and fled takes wing to return to his Master. Draco unfolded the parchment while Pansy left the room.

"My little panda,

Much you up to speed now before you may learn by the Gazette tomorrow. I have great news for you. No doubt you do not will jump for joy. I prefer to tell you plainly, as you forgive me this cavalier formulation.

I'm getting married. I know, for you, it may be too sudden. Your mother died, I could not stay alone and neither are you. It six months ago, I met a wizard I thought hate.

In the end, I marry in a month.

I am sure you ask to you that it can be. So I do not expect you more.

Harry Potter.

Yes, you read that right.

Before you curse me or hate me, know that I have loved your mother as a friend. Potter is the person I need. I know you do not like. But for me, it-te-please, make an effort.

I kiss you,

Your father,

L.A. Malfoy "

Draco was a time before shutting comprising.

A primary roar echoed in the dormitory when the young man collapsed on his bed His father married Potter. In a month.

Blaise patted her shoulder in a comforting gesture. Draco turned towards him with pleading eyes.

\- Blaise, I think I need a drain and a sweeping ...

Zabini looked at the others briefly before shrugging and seize Draco's hand eagerly, eyes shining with lust.

\- Okay. Okay guys, we come back, we'll take a shower.

He quickly dragged him into the bathroom, where he locked the door key under the smirk Nott.


End file.
